How to Trust Yourself Like a Total Boss

Sometimes someone enters your life who changes it forever. And that person for me is my therapist Stefanie. 

I’ve said one million times over how much I love therapy and how important I think it is, even for those of us who think we don’t have any “issues.” Well, spoiler alert – we all have issues to some extent. I’ve been going to therapy on and off for ten years, and proud to say it! Don’t let therapy be a taboo topic, guys. 

Anyway, it wasn’t until this therapist of mine, who I started seeing only months back, that I really felt like I got it. I certainly don’t have it all figured it out. None of us do. But I feel like the perspective I’ve gained and the growth I’ve felt and the realizations and clarity I’ve had in just a few months has been beyond my imagination. 

One of the (several) things we’ve discussed is the topic of trusting oneself. 

Turns out, I haven’t been a rockstar at trusting myself until more recently. 

By nature, I’m an incredibly indecisive person (and over the most insignificant things, too), and that indecisiveness can come from a lack of trust. Because, for me, even when I have felt an answer in my gut I still questioned it, even though I know what my gut tells me is always the way to go. 

It’s so insanely important to trust yourself. But it can also be so insanely hard.

Because the reality is there might be hundreds of “right” outcomes and answers, so it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and question if your decision is, in fact, the “right” one. 

And guess what?

You might never know if it’s the right decision. All you can know is that you listened to your inner voice and trusted what it told you.

Don’t worry – I’m not about to get all woo woo on you, but I do fully 100% believe that what your gut / heart / instinct tells you is the way to go. It’s a feeling of knowing. And that knowing is what you need to listen to and believe and, ultimately, trust. 

Now, how the hell do you trust yourself? 

How to Trust Yourself Like a Total Boss

1. Wait to feel a response

When I say “wait for a response” I mean, ask yourself the question – heck, even say it out loud if you’d like, and then wait to feel a response. You might feel it in your heart, you might feel it in your stomach, but wait to feel it. If at first you don’t feel anything, ask yourself again and think about it a bit longer. An answer is there; you just need to find it and feel it. 

2. Don’t listen to others

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has an opinion. And many like to voice theirs. While sometimes it’s nice to get feedback from others, it’s not always necessary. Sometimes you are the only person who can really make the decision. If you ask seven people for what they would do, you’ll likely get seven variations of what those people would do. Everyone is different, everyone’s needs are different, everyone’s values are different, and what’s good for someone else might totally be wrong for you and vice versa. Try your hardest not to listen to others. Use that energy that you would have used to listen to those other people and use it to find the answer within yourself. And trust that answer. 

3. Only look forward

It’s certainly common for us to make a decision and then look back and question it hundreds of times over. We’re humans after all. However, try to push yourself to only look forward knowing that the decision you made is the right decision and trusting it’s the right decision. Looking back and saying “what if” is a waste of time and energy. Nothing good can come of it, so don’t bother. You’ll just end up driving yourself crazy. Once you feel your decision, own it, and move on forward. 

4. Know that you can revisit decisions

What I mean by this is that if you make a decision and it ends up not being the best decision for you down the road then you can deal with it at that time. There’s a bit of peace in the knowing that most things aren’t permanent and set in stone. Yes, it might be more complicated later on to make whatever change it is, but deal with what’s in front of you when it’s in front of you. Don’t stress about the “what if’s” and “could be’s.” Again, there’s no point. Trust yourself and if it comes up again down the road, then you can trust yourself again to make another decision. Work with what’s in front of you, not what could be in front of you. Who you are when you make one decision might not be who you are when you need to make another similar decision, so just be in the moment and focus on the current decision or question at hand.

And there you have it, folks.

Trusting yourself is one of the greatest things we can do. And it takes time. I’m certainly still figuring it all out, but each day I feel like I trust myself more and more. Think of it as a muscle. The more you work at it, the stronger it gets. Practice makes perfect, right? 

Trust me on that one.

Ha ha, see what I did there?

Photo by Maritere Rice