It was about mid way through the 60 minute flight from Houston to New Orleans when I was looking out the window, gazing at the cotton ball looking clouds, thinking This isn’t so bad.
For those of you who know me personally or have been readers of my blog for a while, you know I dislike loathe flying. I used to fly all the time and was totally cool with it, but then I entered my anxiety ridden years, and I became a fearful flyer. For a couple years I didn’t fly at all. And I canceled more flights than I care to admit. However, I like to think I’ve licked that ‘fear’ (for now at least!).
And as I continued to think about this ‘fear’ of mine, and after chatting with a good friend of mine on a recent flight (Hi Rach!), I realized it’s not a fear. It’s really not. I don’t like flying. I find it uncomfortable, annoying, and not fun at all, but is it a fear? No. I’m not scared of the plane going down. I know planes are meant to fly. I understand all of this. I simply do not like it…at all. I think turbulence is THE most uncomfortable feeling and causes me to sweat and get clammy hands (ew). But am I scared? No, not really. It’s discomfort. That’s really all it is.
Because I’ve made sense of all of this, I decided to go back to my ‘Fear of Flying’ instructor (Hi Douglas!) and take a refresher course JUST on turbulence, along with the simulator, which I’ve also done before. I don’t necessarily think I’ll ever enjoy flying and ever wish for turbulent flights, but I would like to feel more comfortable with it, and so I’m making an effort. I’m trying really hard.
Like I mentioned a couple weeks back, I will no longer miss important events in my family and friends’ lives due to this ‘fear’ of flying, I just won’t.
Even just realizing that it’s not so much a fear as it is discomfort, I’ve felt a sense of ease. And I think a lot of things in life that you might be ‘scared’ of aren’t really fears, but simply things you don’t enjoy, don’t like, or feel a bit uncomfortable with. I bet if you think hard about it, you’ll agree.
Life is messy. Life is confusing. There are things in life you have to do that you don’t want to do. But, spoiler alert, life is fucking amazing. So, enjoy the ride (and drink wine along the way, because wine always helps me on flights! #wine-o)
Image borrowed from Wandering
Hi Julie,
I suggest you augment whatever you are doing with the information in my book. Though you have someone you are working with, there is no one else who has thirty-five years of experience treating flight phobia both as an airline captain and as a licensed therapist. As a result, the emotion control techniques in the book aare more advanced that can be found elsewhere. See “SOAR: The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying” which was chosen Amazon editors’ 2014 favorite book, and if you read the reviews, you’ll see why.
Thanks, Tom! Glad we emailed.