My dad has always been a firm believer in only focusing on things that are within your control, and it’s actually some of the best advice I’ve ever received.
So often, many of us are guilty of worrying about something that we have no control over. We waste our energy on situations that we will never be able to do anything about, and it’s truly exhausting.
From people not changing once they hit a certain age, to deadlines for school or work, to not landing that job you wanted, to event conflicts, it is what it is.
Yes, of course it would be nice if your friend’s wedding didn’t take place on the day of your sister’s wedding, but if the dates are set, you shouldn’t stress over it since you aren’t in control to change it.
You thought you would definitely get the job you’ve been dreaming of, and at the last minute a candidate comes in who the company thinks is better suited for the position. Of course, it’s heartbreaking and terribly upsetting, but because there’s nothing you can do about it, you should try your very best to not waste more energy on it, and you should put that energy towards landing another incredible job.
Next time a situation presents itself to you that you are getting worked up over and stressing too much about, take a second to stop and think if you have control over it. If you do, great. If you don’t, it’s time to focus on something much more worthwhile.
Love your post!! I’m in a difficult situation in my job and you give me a lot of great tips!!! xoxo
http://heelsandpeplum.wordpress.com/
This is really great advice. It’s something I try to practice, but it can be difficult not to let the stress and anxiety take over!
Those are great words of advise!
Only focusing on things you have control over is SO important for your happiness, but it’s REALLY hard. A lot of times, we think we can “fix” people or situations if we just work or try hard enough but that’s rarely the case. I try to remember that everything happens for a reason, even if I can’t understand why yet!
I always try to think that way when I am stuck in traffic and trying to get somewhere. Definitely helps me to not freak out!
xo Dina
http://www.sweetestsomethings.com
Ugh I’m so sorry about that wedding fiasco and the job thing. I’ve had the job one happen to me before, too. It takes a lot of ups and downs before you get to the final “up”! š
Ohhh, those hadn’t happened to me – just examples of situations I know do happen quite often. Other things have happened though where I just realize to stop wasting my energy on something that I truly have no control over! Glad you got to your final UP! š xo, Julie
Well said! So so true!
That is so true and what great advice from your dad!!
xoAmy
http://www.dreamingincashmere.com
This is something I’m always trying to work on. If things are out of your control then why stress over them?!
Kristina does the Internets
So true!!! Great advice! But so hard when you’re in the situation.
This is some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten too (tho it came from a shrink, not my dad haha).
It really helps keep in perspective the fact that you always have choices. No you can’t change a deadline, but you can choose to make the deadline or you can choose to miss it. Maybe missing that deadline has consequences you don’t like, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice. It is very empowering to make decisions based on the consequences of your choices, instead of the obligations you feel.
<3becky
http://www.loosefromthezoo.com
I am definitely guilty of this! In hindsight I always feel stupid after spending so much time and energy worrying and stressing over something I have no control over, but I still always seem to do it! Thanks for this reminder today girlie š
xo
http://www.fitfashionista.com
Your dad is a smart man. Sometimes it’s so hard to stop worrying about things that are out of our control, but freeing up all that energy for something else does a person so much good.
xx, Bubbly in Brooklyn
Our dad’s sound very much the same. When I was younger and something wouldn’t go the way I had planned, I would always say as many young people do “that’s not fair.” He used to say to me that there are a lot of times in life when things aren’t totally fair and they don’t always go your way but you have to deal with them as best you can and there’s no use in getting yourself worked up about them. I try to remember his advice when something crappy happens and all I want to do is cry it’s not fair lol.
xo jen
It just seems sometimes that a lot of things happen all together and we just explode! But i can relate.
my husband also believe that, even though i’m one to focus on everthing! eesh! Xo, Megan, http://www.TfDiaries.com