When you’re little and playing with your friend, ‘said friend’ might ‘steal’ the toy you’re playing with, you would get upset and possibly cry, and minutes later you would be playing nicely together again as if nothing ever happened. Don’t you wish it stayed like that as you got older? It would make things easier, wouldn’t it? As we grow up, the act of forgiveness can sometimes be a bit more challenging than taking a few minutes to decompress. The older we get, the bigger decisions and choices we have to make, and those decisions and choices can lead to greater consequences.
I think it’s pretty split down the middle – some people forgive and forget rather quickly and easily, and others can hold grudges for years and years and sometimes forever. How you forgive is up to you and what works for you, personally, and I don’t really think there is a right or wrong answer to the question of how one forgives (IF one forgives), but I do have my preference.
Years back I would hold grudges. I admit it. Not all the time, but if someone made me really upset or hurt me, it would take a lot for me to get over it. Although, as time went on, I realized what’s the point. It’s not that I don’t have feelings and I don’t get upset or hurt or mad (because, of course, I do…I’m human), but I would rather face the issue head on, deal with it, and move on from it. Will I forget the ‘issue’ ever took place? No probably not, but will I dwell on it? No. I just feel life is too damn short to hold grudges. It’s a lot more work and takes up a lot more of your energy to hold a grudge and to be angry.
If you are one who has a harder time forgiving, next time a situation presents itself to you where you are forced to forgive and move on or to hold a grudge, try the former. You might just find out you prefer that route.